I will ease your wondering mind, Winston

Today’s question comes from a friend of mine you may know, Mr. Winston T. Pistolsniffer.

Winston asks:
Archie, I once had to hold off a tribe of pygmies with nothing but a pair of roller skates and a shark’s tooth. It was extraordinary! What do you think of that?

Winston, that truly is extraordinary. I would like to play you in a movie version of your life if one were to ever be made. I can do a spot on British accent.

If I were ever cornered by a tribe of pygmies I would like to think I could get out of the situation safely, too. I’ve played many-a-adventurer, as you know, and feel that I have picked up a lot of key survival skills.

I read somewhere that pygmies cannot grow facial hair and use westerner’s facial hair as currency. If this is true then I am a multi-billionaire to them. With this in mind, if I’m unable to outwit them in their natural environment, I can probably buy them out with just a small clip from my magnificent mustache.

Nice to hear from you again and thanks for being a fan!

-Archie.

I will ease your wondering mind, Ashley

Another question from an adoring fan. Another answer from a giving star. Today’s questions are from Ashley.

Ashley Writes:
Archie, I have questions for you as well. What was your favorite story as a child? What do you consider your inspiration for your great talent? What do you think of the Purity Towers?

Great questions, Ashley. Let’s see. My favorite story as a child, huh? I was a fairly slow reader as a child and had to have my dad read my stories for until the 6th grade. The story I had him read the most, though, was “The Tale of Gregory”. Gregory was a very nice character. As a child, hearing about a “good Grotian” was strange but it helped me see that the Grotians aren’t all bad. A lesson that a few of my friends must have missed as children.

My inspiration comes from many places but mostly from myself. I usually spend hours listening to or watching productions I have done. I used to listen to others but it finally came down to, watch the others do it “OK” or watch my self do it spectacularly. Not a difficult choice.

And to answer your final question, Purity Towers is an excellent place for a person like me. Great food, amazing amenities, and wonderful living arrangement. My neighbors are all alright, I suppose. I don’t usually like consorting with people but when I do talk to them, they seem fairly nice. I can’t say I really care for the way they treat some of the people less fortunate than they are, but who am I to judge. Oh and the massages are great.

Thanks for being a fan!

-Archie

I will ease your wondering mind, Mary

Ah, a new question. This one is from Mary.

Mary writes:

I heard you were making a blog to answer our questions! I was hoping you could answer mine! I was wondering what you do to keep that mustache looking *soooooooo* good?!
-Your loving fan,
Mary

Well, Mary, I normally don’t expose my secrets but, since I’m a firm believer in not denying a fan what that want, I suppose I can let my fans in on the secret.

My mustache is obviously one of my most prized possessions and I treat it with the utmost care. A thrice-a-day combing is performed by my facial hair-stylist. I also wash, rinse, and repeat two times a day, in a row with normal herbal shampoo. And then, this is the main part of my secret, I apply my special, home-made, mustache cream. The cream is made up from my own special recipe. The cream consists of normal things like coco-butter, aloe, isopropyl alcohol, horse saliva, egg yolks, dried sage, and children’s cough syrup. Now, I must warn you, I strongly suggest you don’t attempt to re-create my unique “stache-cream” because improper mixing and quantities could prove…just don’t try to make it.

Thanks for being a fan!

-Archie

I will ease your wondering mind, Jane Doh…

It obviously didn’t take long for the questions about me to come in. Fear not, fans! I am happy to let you take a little peek into the wonderful world that is Archie Rebel.

First Question comes from Jane Doh.

Jane writes:

I’ll bite: How did you get started down this line of work? Did you always want to be an actor?

Well, Jane, to answer your first question, I always had a way with entertaining people. My mother told me that my first words were the entire lyrics to “New York, New York”. She told me that when she heard me sing my first words she thought the radio was on, but it was just me in my crib doing what I was apparently born to do.

As for your second question, no, I didn’t always want to be an actor. When I was 10, for about 38 minutes, I wanted to be a tow truck driver so I could just tow any car I wanted back to my house. My mother had to explain to me that tow truck drivers  did not get to keep the cars they towed and usually had to tow broken cars. Plus they were usually dirty and I really like being clean.

Thank you for the great questions, Jane, and thank you for being a fan!

-Archie

Hello Fans!

Hello fans! You asked for it and now you have it! Archie Rebel has started his own blog especially for his adoring and curious fans.

I should have expected something like this would happen once my publicist put my Facebook up. First a fan page and now a forum to tell you all about me. It truly is flattering to see all the love you guys have for me.

I have already received a few questions in my e-mail and from Facebook and will be posting my blogs shortly to answer this fan mail.

Thank you all for being a fan!

-Archie